Movie reviews

Rating: 1/10

The worst "Christmas" movie I've seen, Nutcrackers is also one of the most peculiar films I've had the misfortune of watching. It's not boring bad, I was strangely entertained, but it's still terrible. I can't say this is a Christmas film, it certainly didn't feel like one -- it didn't even feel like a movie. The children acted like the home schooled kids I've met, so that's a positive? Their antics and accuracy to the weirder home ed kids was what entertained me, because I'd met kids similar to them. I don't really know what to say, I think I'm still processing this movie.

Rating: 9/10

Zero Day is one of the best movies I've seen all year, up there with Perfect Blue. What is so disturbing about it is how normal Andre and Calvin behave: they're like ordinary teenagers, even likeable besides the last clips -- but they're planning to shoot up the school, and from this it has such an eerie feeling. Because you know what they're going to do it's scary, because they could be anyone. The acting was also amazing, it's surprising the actors didn't go further with an acting career.

Rating: 5/10

This is an incredibly okay film. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad, just average. There were some typical western movie tropes thrown in here which weakened it, like Mario having a family which disapproves of his plumbing business... why? Being a plumber is a respectable job and Mario's business would probably be highly succesful. It's humour is reference humour, which isn't funny because just referencing something isn't a joke -- BUT I enjoyed the references! Especially Cranky Kong and Diddy Kong being in it, I feel like they're often forgotten so the fact that they're in this is great.

One thing which doesn't make sense is why Bowser didn't kidnap Peach like in the games, I think that weakens Bowser as a villain.

I think this would be a good film to put on to babysit a young child whilst the parents do something, but anyone else won't get much from it. The Super Mario Bros Movie is a movie which exists, and isn't much besides that.

Rating: 9/10

The Craft is one of my favourite films and has been for a long time. All of the characters have their own struggles and distinct personality which fules how witchcraft corrupts each one. From the first scenes each character appears you can tell what their personality is like, with the help of some brilliant costume designs. The movie has a great atmosphere and feeling and I find it perfect for Halloween (despite not technically being a Halloween movie).

Rating: 8/10

The Platform has a unique premise, unlike anything I've seen before. It did feel a bit messy at moments, but was overrall gripping.

Rating: 2/10

Couldn't finish this one. It jumped all over the place and was just trash. I want to read the book, and I'm going to do my best not to let this movie put me off.

Rating: 7/10

90's and 2000's horror movies have a certain feeling to them, and Final Destination definitely has it. I feel like I shouldn't put the rating up from an objective look at the film, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. It's pretty fun but it can also create suspense well, like with Valerie Lewton's death -- I couldn't help but keep on wondering what would kill her as the scene went on. The premise was also pretty cool.

I was also not expecting to hear a NIN song in it!

Rating: 3/10

I heard this film was incredibly gory, but I can't help but feel disappointed. It wasn't scary, it was stupid. Whilst Art the clown's actor is amazing, everyone else in the cast isn't good. I had heard that this film was terrifying and gruesome, but nothing in comparison to the Saw franchise. Terrifier is just a standard, crappy slasher.

Rating: 9/10

Wow... this was great. Honestly, I don't know what to say, you just have to watch it. An amazing look at celebrities and their persona versus their true self.

Rating: 2/10

Camp Rock was definitely not a good film, but it was so bad it's good. High School Musical is just awful. Crappy songs, crappy acting and crappy story? It's a Disney Channel original movie all right!

Rating: 4/10

Oh boy, Camp Rock. It's a cringe overload to say the least, but it's good crap. It's kind of racist though? My sibling pointed this out to me. The characters played by people of colour are the ones doing hip-hop and break dancing.

It's a funny bad though, like the "She's really good" scene.

The songs were torture and I have no clue why the Jonas Brothers were so popular.

Rating: 6/10

It was just okay. It felt pretty bare-bones, there wasn't much to it and I don't have much to say about it.

Rating: 7/10

The Lost Boys is not a perfect film (as shown in my rating), but it's a fun film which puts me in a good mood. It just has a really good feeling to it, I love the setting. Watch if you want a very enjoyable and camp film which blends comedy and horror, not if you want a scary vampire masterpiece.

Rating: 1/10

I fucking hate this. The songs were complete crap, characters weren't even recognisable: what happened to Regina? Everything was sooooo bad.

Rating: 6/10

I love Studio Ghibli, but Whisper of the Heart just isn't for me. The animation was beautiful, but the story was just kind of boring. I probably just didn't get the point, I know loads of people love this film.

Rating: 7/10

The Fear Street films were alright. They weren't scary but I liked the setting a lot. The first part's 90's setting just felt right for the movie and the camp setting in part two was very Friday The 13th-esque. My complaints are that the third film wasn't as good and the second movie was a bit slow. The Fear Street movies aren't anything special, but they're watchable.